"I envy you, you don’t get really sad after you’ve gone through a break up, Mich." Vanessa asked earlier as we go for lunch.
To be honest I’ve been sad once. Oh no… not sad, miserable and desperate to be exact. Once. And I do not intend to be ever. Just never again. Well, to save the space and my time blogging about this I’ll just point out few reasons why.
🔸I make stupid decisions for myself and for everything.
🔸I waste so many days not eating properly. I just cry then fall asleep.
🔸I get really really silent. There are days I won’t even talk at all.
🔸I cry every where. In the bathroom, in my room, while eating and before sleeping. It’s all drama.
🔸You cannot talk to me in a sensible manner. I’m here but my mind is somewhere else.
🔸I get too paranoid. I don’t trust anyone. Not even myself.
🔸I will just talk about that person, write about him. Hate him then need him. Then hate him again and need him. The cycle will just repeat itself until I get tired.
If I ever do these things again, trust me I’ll be dead. Probably I’ll commit suicide. Frankly, I could have. Good Lord, I’m lucky I did not. Growing too obsessed with the idea that he will care about you no matter what is bullshit guys. You know it already…no, you can already feel it when he can’t even fight for something you believe you have had with him. Not even confront you. Not even say anything. Not even when you feel so low. It’s a bullshit kind of feeling. And I don’t want to be in that place anymore. I rather leave immediately — escape as fast as I can than be in denial for a very long time.
Anyway, good morning tumblr. 😁✌️